Thursday, June 9, 2011
Secure Daughter's, Confident Sons
This book has been a big eye opener for me in a few areas. Not so much for girls (because I am one) but more so for boys.
One thing I've never heard said (for boys), was to have the dad be the inviter and the mom to be the corrector. Meaning, mom's correct boys when they are not doing something godly and manly; while dad's are to be the ones to show them by example instead of correcting (for the most part). This spoke volumes to me. I'm sure the same should be done vise versa for girls as well. Just another thing where actions do speak louder than words. How often do we say "she didn't fall far from the tree". Our children, especially those who are the same gender as us, need to be shown by our example. Words alone won't cut it. I've often said, if you see something in your children that you don't like - more often than not, you need to look in the mirror. Most of the time it is our children reflecting us.
"For the man, an event is something that gets him to the next thing. For the woman, the event is the thing". Again, something I've never heard of or read before. As I read on to see what the author meant by this, I could see how very true it is for my husband and I in how we approach things.
In this book, the author also speaks of how one girl, is not another, is not another, etc...and he does the same for boys. He uses very intelligent people from the past to movie stars to make his point. This is something that I think is sometimes hard to remember. Our children are fearfully and wonderful made! Each one unique with something special that God gave only to them. While there are many traits that are unique to girls; each girl is different inside of that as well.
The only downside to this book is how many times it repeats certain things. I understand repeating a time or two to get the point - but this seems to repeat things more than I'd like.
All in all, the main point I took away from this book is that girls need to feel worth internally - like they matter. They need to be cared for and loved. Boys need to know that the tasks they perform are good and have age appropriate challenges through the time we raise them - they need to be pushed. They also need to learn perseverance through whatever task they face. Girls need to make a person difference in people's lives while boys need to impact situations themselves. One thing I think all should take note in is that every woman needs what the little girl needs; and every man needs what little boys need. If we can not only treat our children, but our spouses and adult friends/family in this way...what an amazing world this would be!