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Thursday, February 4, 2010

Do You Know Your Child's Love Language?

I remember awhile back when I was first married, I dove into the book The FIve Love Languages. This helped me learn much more about my spouse and how he communicates with his love language. What a difference that has made.

Taking that a step further, I have been looking for the love languages in my children. They too need to be loved in a way they understand. I have not yet read the book that was made for children but I believe the concept is probably the same. What have I found out?

Lyshie's main love language is gift giving. That is followed up by words of affirmation. Let me give you an example. Lyshie loves to purchase and make gifts for everyone around her. To her, that is the way she shows them love. In turn, the way you show Allysha love is by getting/making her gifts. The same thing rings true with words of affirmation. She needs to know she's doing a great job in her chores and school, etc... That is also the way she shows love - by telling others how well they are doing.

Jonathan's main love language is words of affirmation and physical touch. Jonathan daily will say "mom, I just love you". We've made sure to let him know daily with our words that we love him too. This is followed by physical touch. Jon LOVES to have his back rubbed and in turn loves to do that for others. He's just sure it makes them feel great.

As far as Joshua, we are still learning more about him. I'm thinking he'll be quality time and touch but I'm not sure as of yet.

What about your children ? Do you know their love language? If not, find out what it is. When you do, I encourage you to show them love in their own language.


Mrs. Stash said...

I have figured out that my oldest is definately a "quality time", and that my youngest seems to be a "physical touch". My middle one is a bit difficult to nail down, but she is more introverted than her older sister, and therefor harder to "read".

I feel bad for baby boys like ours who are "physical touch" ... I don't know how to say it...I guess men already get slammed by thier wives for being "too touchy", (to put it nicely...)

Do you have similar concerns?

Of course, I don't hear this coming from Christian women AS MUCH, but I still hear it, and it makes me feel sad for my poor baby boy!

HOWEVER, perhaps since he is a "physical touch" person, his future spouse will find things like hand holding and bear hugs without "expectations" to be very nice!

Amanda Kaake said...

I think that the whole thing with women and "touch" from their guys is such a wordly thing. God made us to enjoy each other - not just for men to enjoy women. I think a huge problem is that most men care only about pleasing themselves in that way. Just another thing we need to teach our boys - to please their wives first. No I'm not concerned about it. Just another thing to pray about. If they seek God in their lives, they will be with that right person God has for them. :)

Amanda Kaake said...

Thank you though for bringing that up. It seems to be a taboo subject - however in the confines of marriage,intimacy can be a beautiful thing if we follow God's plan for it.