Wednesday, January 18, 2012
When Mama is "sick" - has on-going health issues.
This is something my family knows all too well. Over the past 2 years things have really been hard in some aspects. In others, it's been better. I've recently talked to 3 different women who are also at times bed ridden with children at home. It's a very difficult road to walk. While this may not help everyone since we're all different, I know it would be very helpful for me and some of my friends. Read on if you know someone who has on-going health issues and you want to help them. It can be very lonely and isolating.
1. Don't forget us. When testing is being done or we're getting on a new regimen, people pray for us and we get calls and/or letters to see how we're doing. Once the testing is done, we're forgotten about again (or that's how it seems). Let us know you're still praying for us, pop on over for a short amount of time (because we usually can't do that long), and just sit with us and talk. We miss getting out and being able to see people. It can get very lonely. If you can't come over, take the time to call.
2. Offer to help us. It's very hard to get the basic things done in our homes. Things like cleaning, cooking and doing school with the kids. While I make sure we get that done, that doesn't leave room (if I'm not feeling well) to do anything else. With little kids running around and playing, we can get very overwhelmed. I want a clean house, clean carpets, finished projects....but I just can't do it all. Or how about taking our kids out for the day? I know for me a friend would have to call and say "I'm doing this so give me a date". lol
3. Surprise us! Write us a letter, bring over a cup of tea, make dinner for our family (make sure to check dietary restrictions) or send over a comedy. Laughter and friendship really does boost our spirit and our health.
4. If you go to visit a mama that has on-going health issues, lower your expectations of her house and her entertaining/running around. This is the big one for me. It would do my heart so good if I knew "they" weren't judging my house and even offered to help. The stress of getting ready for guests is sometimes overwhelming and that can send us into being in bed days after you're gone. We want people around...but it needs to be less stressful.
5. If you simply cannot come over and visit, care packages are great. We focus so much on our families and their needs...we don't think much about giving ourself "fun time". How about sending a comfy pair of socks, a comedy dvd, a favorite treat, tea bags, homemade cards, etc... The sky is the limit.
6. Be patient with us. We've had to cancel or not show up to family events because my health couldn't take it. Being patient with us and realizing that we just can't do things normal people can means a lot.
Most of us look fine on the outside and even sometimes when you're around us, you'd never know we have major health problems going on inside. This is the hardest part. Most people think if you look good, you feel good. The purpose of this post is to really get the word out there that there are so many people suffering right now of major health issues. It would mean a lot to them for you to take the time out of your busy day/days and brighten theirs for a bit. It can be a very lonely place.
Most importantly, hold them up in prayer and let them know that. It does my heart so good to know I have friends that are consistently praying for me. Nothing compares to that.