To the mama who no matter how much sleep you get, you're more often than not tired. And not just the "normal" tired; your whole body feels like it is in shut down mode. You know, the tired that a flu can bring. The tired where you can hardly lift your head off the pillow much less get off that couch. I hear you.
To the mama who when she has a "good" day she's able to get a handful of household chores done with a 2 hour break in-between each chore just to make it all work. Girl, that's been most of my married life.
To the mama who longs to be connected with others in real life, but knows she may have to cancel and doesn't want to put people out. I understand.
To the mama who is on facebook groups on and off all day long to find support from other's like you. The mama who is on Pinterest trying to find that next good remedy, or food that will help you feel even a little bit better. Who stays up late looking at various medical studies on a new supplement or treatment that may be a game changer - I'm you!
To the mama who wants everything amazing for her children; to be able to put them in sports, and other extra curricular activities but can't because of the time/energy it takes that you just don't have. Who wants to be able to take her kiddos to evening events but she can't because after 4pm her body is totally done for the day. Who wants to visit family more but doesn't have the energy to drive a couple hours, and then have to converse with people knowing you'll have brain fog and look like an idiot. I get it girl.
To the mama who has had to dig deep to find out who she really is and what she's really made of. All that self reflection and work on herself because of difficult situations that were thrown in her lap; that may have never left her lap. To rise above the pain inflicted by others who have slandered you, mistreated you, neglected you, refused to believe the severity of your illness. I'm here with you.
To the mama who knows she needs to eat healthy but doesn't have an appetite after she takes all her meds. Or who feels incredibly guilty when she has the piece of pizza or slice of cake because she knows what it does to her body; but it tastes so good! I get it.
To the mama who knows some good old cardio or weight training would be so good for her but just getting up and walking out to the mailbox can some days be too daunting. You know if you push yourself, you will not move at all for a month. I understand.
Oh dear woman, I get it. I couldn't figure out for the longest time why I didn't have the energy that the people did. When I got my Lyme diagnosis I cried out of relief. All those family members and doctors who said there was nothing wrong with me...they were wrong. My body truly was shutting down. I was and am very sick and it was finally confirmed for everyone else that I truly am not crazy or a hypochondriac. My body was telling me something was wrong and it was right. Then 15 minutes after the diagnosis I was beyond afraid that the doctor might call and tell me they mixed up the tests and I was back to square one of not knowing what was wrong with me. Without having a diagnosis I slowly - very slowly - learned a few things that helped me along the way. I hope this may help you as well. I would love to hear if you have tried any of these or something I haven't. Please let me know below in the comments. And remember, you are not alone.
Things That Have Helped Me
- Prayer and bible study.
This can not be underestimated. There is something about communing with an all-powerful, all-knowing God that helps me get out of my head for a bit and focus on Him. His goodness, His plan for my life. God's word helps me refocus on what matters most. And singing praise songs outloud, not just in my head. It has the power to lift my spirit like no other. It's a soothing balm to my soul.
- Therapy and good friends.
Girl, find your tribe! Have some friends online but foster relationships in real life too. Nothing beats sitting next to a dear friend sharing life together. It is a beautiful thing to have a good friend. A good therapist is a great asset as well. Someone who is willing to challenge you and to speak life into you. To listen to you when everyone else has heard your stories a million times and you know if you tell them one more time they may stop talking to you for good. I have been challenged in such a good way many times by my therapist. If you're looking for a good Christian therapist, visit Focus on the Family to get some recommendations. They also offer one free counseling session via phone call.
- Be your best self.
This is from my therapist. It has stuck with me for years. I was in such a lonely place; a place where I was deeply rejected. I was told regardless of what was going on around me to be my best self physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I took that very seriously.
Emotionally - I talked to those around me and asked them honestly to tell me my failings as they saw them. It was hard! I took a good, hard look at what they said then prayerfully started working on myself. Oh the books I checked out of the library. I have done SO much work on myself these past 6 years especially. Some things were easier to overcome when I saw the truth in what was really happening, and some things I still struggle with. But making those changes slowly over time it's become more of a habit. Even when I slip up I can easily see where I was wrong and quickly apologize.
Physically - I keep trying to find things that I can do even though at times it would be easy to throw my hands up and say, "I can't do anything now!" At one point I was able to work out with weights for over a year. I also worked and delivered groceries for a short amount of time as a side job. Then I crashed - hard - and I have yet to get back to that place. I cannot do cardio, I cannot do weight training, I can't even do a full session of yoga. But I can walk some days. I can do one pushup or sometimes 5 (a modified pushup). While I long to do weight training again - really long to - I know I cannot push myself. If I do I'll be in worse shape. And when I crash I'm my worst self physically, emotionally and spiritually.
- Spiritually - I make a concerted effort to do daily bible study, prayer time and praise time. Sometimes I do great at all 3; sometimes I don't to any. But I keep trying and committing to guarding time for these things because they uplift my soul so much.
I do what I can in all these areas. It will not at all look like what it does for a healthy person, but we can modify whatever we need to in order to be the best version of ourselves. It's ok to constantly be tweaking that diet, exercise routine, bible study, etc... Keep learning and growing.
- Reading and education
Most of us can't hold a job. We are fortunate if we can get minor housework done for the day or week. There are many days we can't do anything but get up, eat, and go to bed. But never, never stop learning and reading. If you're not a reader, why not start today? They say knowledge is power; and in some ways that's so true. I used to be able to read books myself day in and day out. Now, more often than not my eyes won't focus or i'm too tired to hold the book and flip the pages which in turn later causes arm pain. No worries friend, let's not give up yet! Do you have a library card? Most libraries have apps you can use to download free audio books and movies. The ones I use are...
1. Overdrive
2. Hoopla
I listen to my audio books when I'm down flat, when i'm folding clothing, when i'm meal prepping, when i'm driving to/at the doctors office. A few minutes here and there add up to hours and hours of listening time. Start where you are and then set goals for yourself. My goal this year is at least 5 books per month. I'm trying to make sure to read something from each of the following genres. Yours may look different and that's ok!
- Biography
- Self Help/Nutrition
- Religious/Christian
- Fantasy
- Cozy Murder Mystery
- 15's
I learned this during pregnancy with one of my little guys and it's been SO helpful on this Lyme journey. On days I'm not completely down but don't have a lot of energy I implement 15's. I do all the work I can in 15 minutes intervals (sometimes even 5 or 10 minutes), and then rest for a 1-2 hour time period, then repeat. This gives me a lot of the rest I need but also let's me be productive. You would be very surprised at what you can do in 5 minutes alone.
- Nutrition
1. Grocery delivery service!
There are so many delivery services out there now. One of them is Shipt. You can have your groceries delivered right to your door if you're not able to go out and get them yourself. If you're interested in Shipt I have a $50 off the $99 membership price for the year. Email me at mandikaake (@) gmail (.) com so I can set you up with that. Another delivery service I know of is Instacart.
2. Meal Prep!
Pre-cut your fruits and veggies once per week.
Make egg bakes, whole grain muffins, and other items you can eat throughout the week and not have to cook as much.
Make extras for the freezer. I make Fudgy Maple Flourless Black Bean Brownies individually packaged, brown rice individually portioned, etc... The easier we can make it the better for us and those around us because we will be a healthier version of ourselves.
3. Oatmeal/Smoothie Tray
I have an antique tray on my countertop that has jars of several items on it that can be used for oatmeal or smoothies. Things like raisins, nuts/seeds, nut/seed butter, chia seeds, green powder, collagen protein powder, whey protein powder. It's all at my fingertips when I need to make a quick smoothie.
4. Easy to fix items.
For me these include steamable veggies, frozen fruit, quick oats, and parboiled brown rice. A couple of these items have lost just a bit of their nutritional value. But if it's this or pizza, this is what I must do.
5. Use the crockpot.
I know there's all kinds of new, fancy gadgets out there. This one still works great for me. I get so tired most evenings and don't have the energy to cook. So, on those hard days this is my best friend. I start my meal in it at noon and it's ready for dinner.
6. List of family favorite recipes.
You can have this list on your phone, have printed out copies in a binder or whatever works best for you. Just have these family favorite recipes handy. For me most of them also have to be easy/quick to make. That way when brain fog creeps in and you don't know what to put on your meal plan for the next week, you have a quick reminder.
7. Meal plan
If you're able to, take one day per week to make out your grocery list and plan your meals for the week. Jordan Page from Fun, Cheap or Free has great tips that are helpful in meal planning and keeping within your budget. My 2 favorite ideas from her are the envelope method for grocery money and only purchasing 1 week at a time. Oh yes and there's a 3rd; a dry erase menu board! This has been invaluable. If you have any kind of brain fog you know having things written down is a life-saver. I meal plan and write up my meals on Sunday. Then the rest of the week all I have to do is look at the menu board as a quick reminder on what I need to have out and prepare the next day. And it keeps the kids from asking several times per day what we are having for dinner.
- Me Time
Yep, I'm going there. Sometimes an epsom salt bath, a walk out in nature or sitting down to a quiet cup of tea isn't just nice, it's essential. Our bodies are fighting every day a battle many people will never understand. We need to treat our bodies with respect and give it a break when we can. If you can't do this daily, try weekly. Any little break we can give our body gives it more of a chance to heal. If I can't make it outside, I've been known to watch youtube videos of nature that are relaxing to me.
My last thought. I was told by a gentleman several months ago (after he heard an overview of my story) that he felt this was my year to bloom. That is exactly what my plan is and it can be yours too. We have it rough - a lot! But let's not give up. You can bloom right where you're at my friend. Start today.
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