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Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Wife and Motherhood - A Divine Calling

Titus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

What a lovely calling we have as mother's. I am so blessed to have been taught by a dear friend more on being a Keeper at Home and the importance of it just before I married my now husband. In a world where women dominate the workforce, it is truly refreshing to see women start taking up their job once again in the home. To many women - especially women's rights activists, women who stay at home have a lowly job. To them it's not something worthy of a title at all but a slumpy, demeaning position. We often get asked if we get bored at home. If they only knew. lol

For those who do not know me well enough, I was a single mom for 4 years. I worked 5-6 days a week while my mother and grandmother watched my baby. So much joy that should have been mine as a mother passed onto them while they watched her take her first step, say some of her first words, fed her some of her first foods, etc... They had the joy of being with her all day while I worked. My daughter didn't have one special mommy, she had 3. It wasn't till this year and weaning off seeing her grandmother so much that my daughter confessed to me that for a couple years after my marriage, she still wished my mother was her mom. You see, she saw my mother every day of her life. My mom was the one that was always there, I wasn't. How could I expect to be that special in her life when I wasn't around?

I know all too well what being in the workforce means to God's women. It takes away the blessings God had for you. It puts a barrier in that lovely child relation that you should have with your child. Now that my daughter is older, she too wants to be a Keeper at Home to enjoy God's best for her, her children, her husband and the people around her. I'm not at all saying this in pride - indeed not. I am however so blessed and filled with hope that my daughter may not make some of the mistakes I made in the past that lead to a harder life. Please don't take it wrong that I regret her - I in no way do. The way I went about it though, was wrong.

As a keeper at home I am blessed beyond belief at all the 'little' moments I so longed to have before. My children are secure in knowing mommy is always here, like I had with my mom. My husband is secure in knowing he has someone at home taking care of his home and children while he's at work, working hard during the week. It is more of a blessing than I can ever relate. My hope is that someone will read this and see what joy they can have in staying at home for their family. Take heed, God did not ask father's to stay at home - it is the mother's calling. Doing the opposite of what God has called us to will only hinder the relationships within your home.

God has told us in His word what our roles as parents and children should be. When we follow that, we have happiness beyond belief. When we do not, there is much heartache. I will expand more on the above verse very soon.


Jason said...

I love your thinking but in the 4th paragraph I think I tend to disagree a little bit. I think mothers, even working mothers can have the same relationship with their children working or not, it just requires more of an effort because you have less time to dedicate to it.

I also think that being a working mother can be a noble calling. If she is called by God to go into the working field, mother or not, how could that NOT be called noble?

Just some things to ponder.

Anonymous said...

The best thing, spiritually speaking, for a Christian to do in all things, is to be as selfless as possible.
Most of the time a woman who is not working out of financial necessity is working for more selfish reasons (though in the world's eye it may be normal).

I disagree with the last comment because the relationship between a child and its mother changes when mom goes to work. This is especially true for the women who are working because they have a degree and "don't want to waste it" or complain of "boredom at home" (which has never made sense to me). Time lost can never be made up, you only have new time to use to the fullest.

Personally, I would be happy if even single mothers were paid to take care of ther kids at home (with accountability), and I'd be willing to pay more in taxes to make it possible.


Jason said...

I would love to see where you get your statistics from. "Most of the time a woman who is not working out of financial necessity is working for more selfish reasons". Says who? Show me the surveys that say this. I can't say the reasons why most people work and neither can anyone else; that is making grossly malformed statements.

Even though a relationship b/t a mother and child may change when they go to work it doesn't mean isn't any less wonderful. Most fathers work...does that mean their relationship with their children isn't as

I'm not saying that what was said is wrong. It can definitely be right for you Mandi, but making assumptions that this is the way it should be for every woman and some other generalizations that were made just isn't right.

Amanda Kaake said...
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Jason said...

I agree. Please show me where in the Bible it says it is wrong for a woman to work and I will fully support it.

Amanda Kaake said...

It gives examples of women being at home like in Titus 2. It clearly states a woman should be a keeper at home. When you spoke of men being at work - that is what God has for the men in the family. Men and woman play different rolls in the lives of a child - for a child to see a father working hard for his family, it gives them a good model to follow after.

I think as a society we have gotten away from what the word of God says and try to fit our own way of thinking in. This is where the church as a whole has done much harm in families today.

Jason said...

While Titus 2 does say women should "keep the home" or "be busy at home", depending on what version you're reading just from that verse I don't see that as a literal women are not to go into the work force at all.

Genisis 2:18 says " is not good for man to be alone..." but that doesn't mean it is a sin or even wrong for a man to live a single life.

I see both of these verses coming to fruit in the same light.

Would you happen to have any other supporting verses that I could look at?

Jason said...

Read Judges 4. God blessed Deborah (a working woman as a judge) to be involved and really spearhead a campaign for Israel to Jabin the King of Canaan.

Acts 16. Lydia, a business woman (seller of purple cloth) in chapter 15 asked and was found to be faithful to the Lord.

I believe paraphrases it very well.

"The Bible nowhere forbids a woman from working outside the home. However, the Bible does teach what a woman’s priorities are to be. If working outside the home causes a woman to neglect her children and husband, then it is wrong for that woman to work outside the home. If a Christian woman can work outside the home and still provide a loving, caring environment for her children and husband, then it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to work outside the home."

Amanda Kaake said...

I do know that Deborah did not have children although I'll have to look up Lydia.

I do like the quote at the bottom though. Unfortunately, most people I know it is for selfish gain and they work such ungodly hours that they don't care for their children or husband. I'll look into this more. I so love our friendly debates my brother:)

Amanda Kaake said...

It doesn't say whether or not Lydia had any children or was even married. It talks about her 'household', however that could just be her servants if she was a great business woman or even her parents family as they all lived together in one household.

I think I may need to edit my post a bit. I am against women who have children working outside of the home. I think a woman's place is raising her children - not other people. But then again, if she's working, doesn't have children and still can't keep her household up herself without her husband's help the job isn't a good thing either. Am I making any sense? lol

Jason said...

Yup, I understand what you're saying. Oh...and Lydia and Deborah not having children I wouldn't consider tooooo relevant.

The Titus 2 verse you mention talks about training "younger women" not "younger mothers". While some things (train them to love their children) might be relevant to mothers...the verse is actually talking about "younger women" specifically whether married or wouldn't matter if Lydia or Deborah had children.

Amanda Kaake said...

So then it could be safe to say that this is a model of what a woman's job is to be. Not a sin if she doesn't, but a blessing that follows it should she choose to follow it. I don't think it would have been written down in God's word if it was irrelevant for today.

Amanda Kaake said...

The other thing though that seems one should be cautious is the bottom of the verse where it says

"so the name of the Lord should not be blasphemed".

Jason said...

I like where you said this part...

"Not a sin if she doesn't, but a blessing that follows it should she choose to follow it."

Mainly because that's what I've been trying to get to. It's not "wrong" for a woman or mother to work...but you're probably right...a blessing if they don't.

Same as in Genesis God said "It is not good for man to be alone" so he created woman. But that doesn't mean it's wrong for a man not to marry.

EBeth Fisher said...
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EBeth Fisher said...

Oh, I'd just like to add one thing.

It is all too common, particularly in the States but also here in the UK, for both parents to be working full time while the kids are at school (or day care if they are younger) - say from 8am to 3pm. Then they often put their kids in after-school activities from 3pm to 7pm. They must then have dinner (unless they had it whilst out) and do their homework and go to bed.
Mom and maybe even Dad are very tired by the end of the day and want to relax / watch television, etc.
I do have to wonder, if Christians are also doing this, where is the time for family worship? When do they teach the children about God and instill their values into their kids?
Staying at home is a wonderful opportunity to train up the younger ones and be there a little more for the older ones. I suppose there are women who are able to do that after work, but I personally have not met any. (I am not saying they don't exist, but of my many working-mom friends, they do tend to be lax in the Christian training, as is the over-worked husband - whose job it primarily is.)

EBeth Fisher said...

Interestingly, I have a friend who is a pre-school teacher, who told me that when the moms arrive after work to pick up their kids, the kids usually go running to the mom to greet her. If they have the inevitable stumble and fall on their way to mom and hurt themselves in the process, guess who they go running to for comfort?
Yep, the teacher.
Of course, that might not bother everyone. It just depends on personality, I guess.

Jason said...

Thanks for you insights Beth!!!

EBeth Fisher said...

Deborah may have had grown children and was therefore free to work.
Some scholars interpret Lydia's household as consisting of her husband and children. I guess this'll be one of those interesting things to find out when we get to Heaven.

I like your back-and-forth Mandi and Jason! It is so good to search the Scriptures and discuss it.

(Just a sidenote, I do have deep respect for women who are working and have children, regardless of situation. Having both responsibilites can be a truly prodigious task!)

Amanda Kaake said...

Thanks for the comments Beth:)