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Sunday, August 17, 2008

The Apple Doesn't Fall From the Tree

Standing on the other side of this commonly heard phrase - now being a parent - those words ring horribly true at times.

My daughters attitude had become increasingly bad. She didn't smile nearly as much anymore and her joy seemed to be fading away. My son started yelling at his sister and getting very whiny. I could understand for those several weeks why people want to send their children to school in the fall - to get away from them. I hated feeling this way and always said that it was so sad that people wanted to just send their children away.

What could be causing the problem? Could it be me?

While attending the Bright Lights Conference with my daughter, it was confirmed that I was to blame for the chaos in my home; in our home. I am willing to bet that at least 9 out of 10 times, when there is immense attitude, discontentment, and discord in a home, the parents are to blame. Now please don't get me wrong, when a child gets older and is old enough to make their own decisions - the fault is not on the parent. However, I'm speaking of young toddler and school age children.

I don't know how it happened, but slowly and unnoticeably to me, my heart and mind changed. I slipped out of reading my bible every day and talking to the Lord on and off during the day. My instant reaction to the pressures of every day life was no longer first and foremost, looking towards my Father. Because of this, my attitude had grown worse, my compassion waned, my voice was more often than not raised and my attitude stunk. I was not just hurting myself, I was starting a horrible cycle in my children as well - and it showed.

Why you ask, am I laying it all out on this blog? If I can help just one person see how truly important it is to be a good example to our children, I have succeeded.

So how are we doing? My time with the Lord is getting better, my reponse to my children is getting softer again. My voice is lowered, and my temper is not so quick to fly. God is good - Amen! God is so patient with us and I'm so thankful for that. As for my children, they are doing better too. My daughter is such a joy and is no longer making excuses for her mistakes. My son is starting to act like his normal, busy self. I love being around my children again and would never want to 'send them away' to school.

If you have children that drive you crazy - may I suggest you look in the mirror. Children live what they learn. You have nothing to lose from improving yourself for your family. However, you have so much to lose if you do not get yourself in check - our kids are not worth sacrificing because something might take hard work on our part.


Jamie Veprek said...

You are so right Amanda! When I start allowing my attitude, my priorities, and my time with God to slip, everything else follows. Thank you for the reminder!

The Fishers of Nantwich said...

I agree, too. I would also like to add that when mom does not get enought sleep, her attitude can also be less than Godly, which in turn will make the children misbehave. Well, that's what I have found. It's one thing when we have broken sleep because of an infant, but we should try to get rest whenver we can. Somtimes that can mean letting the house get messy. I had to learn this the hard way.
Good post, Mandi!